1. actionables:

    Me: mom, dad, this is my girlfriend Eve

    Mom: the fuck I thought you had a boyfriend

    Dad: the Bible said Adam and Eve, not gay is okay

    Me: wait for my surprise

    Mom: another one

    Dad: what surprise

    *a guy walks in*

    Me: this is my boyfriend Adam

    Parents:

    Me: do you get it, Adam and Eve hahaha, Adam and Eve

    Parents: no

    Me: but the Bible said

    (via imactuallytrying)

    4 minutes ago  /  24,721 notes  /  Source: actionables

  2. photo

    photo

    photo

    photo

    photo

    photo

    photo

    photo

    photo

    photo

    5 minutes ago  /  1,669 notes  /  Source: toodrunktofindanurl

  3. mooseandtrickster:

    mooseandtrickster:

    memes come and go but bees and the skeleton war are forever

    i lied. bees are not forever. go to savebees.org to learn more about how you can help

    (via spoopy1634)

    8 minutes ago  /  74,729 notes  /  Source: mooseandtrickster

  4. 8 minutes ago  /  2,520 notes  /  Source: makos-lightningrod

  5. poemsingreenink:

    askclint:

    roman-rory-fallen-angel:

    mishakaleins:

    When they make a black widow movie, the trailer needs to be all mysterious and the song playing needs to be Scarlett Johansson singing a lullaby cover of the itsy bitsy spider

    I need this in my life

    That sounds fucking terrifying.

    The lullaby should be in Russian.

    (via imactuallytrying)

    8 minutes ago  /  119,730 notes  /  Source: mishakaleins

  6. princessoffloral:

    collectiveassbutts:

    earthswinds:

    I need feminism; because the bra straps of a twelve year old shouldn’t make a 40 year old married principal with two daughters “uncomfortable”

    So am I allowed to walk around adult women who are mothers and grandmothers at work with my cock out or what

    in what world is someone’s dick equivalent to a fucking bra strap

    (via alexloiz)

    8 minutes ago  /  482,187 notes  /  Source: needingiceland

  7. marshmallowknight:

    what i am not:

    • a girl
    • a boy

    what i am:

    • unholy spawn of darkness and fear
    • dreaded by all who encounter me
    • kinda hungry

    (via jimsdeadbones)

    9 minutes ago  /  55,154 notes

  8. garykingoftheworld:

prydonianrenegade:

That this popped up on my dash, without irony, so soon after DC announced its slate of films, featuring films headlined by a woman, a Polynesian AND an African American, while Marvel has STILL not announced any release dates for films where the above are, if present, simply support for the straight, white, male headliner… amuses me.  :-)

One could argue it’s still relevant, just not in the way it was originally intended to be.
DC is represented by a person of color, trying their hardest and still not getting any credit as Marvel, the white guy, brags about their perceived superiority when they aren’t actually working themselves nearly as hard as the person they’re bragging towards.

    garykingoftheworld:

    prydonianrenegade:

    That this popped up on my dash, without irony, so soon after DC announced its slate of films, featuring films headlined by a woman, a Polynesian AND an African American, while Marvel has STILL not announced any release dates for films where the above are, if present, simply support for the straight, white, male headliner… amuses me.  :-)

    One could argue it’s still relevant, just not in the way it was originally intended to be.

    DC is represented by a person of color, trying their hardest and still not getting any credit as Marvel, the white guy, brags about their perceived superiority when they aren’t actually working themselves nearly as hard as the person they’re bragging towards.

    (via buckysdildo)

    9 minutes ago  /  113,242 notes  /  Source: modelcity

  9. Don't ever hesitate. Reblog this. TUMBLR RULE. When you see it, REBLOG IT.

    The original post only has US helplines. I've added UK helplines underneath. It would be great if people could add numbers from everywhere in the world.

    Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696

    Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433

    LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

    Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

    Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

    Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438

    Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

    Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

    Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

    Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

    Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453

    UK Helplines:

    Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.org

    Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111

    Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.uk

    Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk

    b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk

    b-eat youthline (for under 25's with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)

    Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk

    Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600

    Drinkline: 0800 9178282

    Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk

    Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight

    India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614

    India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669

    Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868, Free and available 24/7

    suicide hotlines;

    Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430

    Australia: 13-11-14

    Austria: 01-713-3374

    Barbados: 429-9999

    Belgium: 106

    Botswana: 391-1270

    Brazil: 21-233-9191

    China: 852-2382-0000

    (Hong Kong: 2389-2222)

    Costa Rica: 606-253-5439

    Croatia: 01-4833-888

    Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67

    Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908

    Denmark: 70-201-201

    Egypt: 762-1602

    Estonia: 6-558-088

    Finland: 040-5032199

    France: 01-45-39-4000

    Germany: 0800-181-0721

    Greece: 1018

    Guatemala: 502-234-1239

    Holland: 0900-0767

    Honduras: 504-237-3623

    Hungary: 06-80-820-111

    Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90

    Israel: 09-8892333

    Italy: 06-705-4444

    Japan: 3-5286-9090

    Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292

    Malaysia: 03-756-8144

    (Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)

    Mexico: 525-510-2550

    Netherlands: 0900-0767

    New Zealand: 4-473-9739

    New Guinea: 675-326-0011

    Nicaragua: 505-268-6171

    Norway: 47-815-33-300

    Philippines: 02-896-9191

    Poland: 52-70-000

    Portugal: 239-72-10-10

    Russia: 8-20-222-82-10

    Spain: 91-459-00-50

    South Africa: 0861-322-322

    South Korea: 2-715-8600

    Sweden: 031-711-2400

    Switzerland: 143

    Taiwan: 0800-788-995

    Thailand: 02-249-9977

    Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800

    Ukraine: 0487-327715

    10 minutes ago  /  2,890,915 notes  /  Source: llos-t

  10. 11 minutes ago  /  414,456 notes  /  Source: baelor